“Well, it was nice talking with you. My name is Bob.”
Bob? Really? Like Bob Harris from Lost in Translation? I was laughing so hard in my head. My friend and I had several discussions that I would fall in love in Japan and marry a 40 year old man named Bob and never come back to the States. But here was Bob. Not in the streets of Tokyo, running out of cabs to catch a romantic kiss. But here in Pink Berry, in a suburban promenade mall, with his pomegranate, original frozen yogurt with strawberries, yogurt chips, blueberries, and pomegranate syrup, and I was waiting to get my original frozen yogurt with strawberries, blueberries, mochi, and pomegranate syrup. The set up of the situation couldn’t be that perfect right?
I had gotten out of work early at 9:30 PM and felt a sudden freedom to do anything. So here is what I did with my freedom:
1. I called up D, but he was busy eating dinner with a friend.
2. I went to Barnes & Nobles, which is my place of solace to roam the book aisles and get lost in the covers and stationary. I picked up a book and started reading it until closing time at 10pm.
3. I wanted frozen yogurt. So I went to Pink Berry alone. Apparently, this was one of the few places that was still open after 10pm. I stood in line and started talking and joking around with a few of the people in front of me. I had a story that I was keeping in mind to write, so all I had was my server pad and my pen and I started writing it in the middle of the line. When I finally finished my thoughts, a middle aged man in front of me said, “I’m surprised you’re not using your Iphone to type it out.”
“Oh no, I prefer to write with a pen and paper, and the touchscreen bothers me because I start concentrating on the red squigglies and my mistakes rather than just writing out freely.”
After joking about technology and how old we were, he starts talking to me about serving, and gives me advice,
“Make sure the customer never has to ask anything from you. The moment they ask for another drink, or extra anything, then you’re not doing your job.”
Then it moves on to where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing in the past couple years, and relationships.
“I used to date a Korean woman…”
“I used to date a Korean guy!”
Then he finds out that I’m 26, and he tells me.
“Oh man, you might not know it or feel it, but you’re going to be making a lot of hard decisions right now. You will change your life completely from what you were doing, into something else, and you have to chose and make those hard decisions now. You’re not going to be a server forever.”
Thank you Bob. He had also came alone to Pink Berry, and left with his frozen yogurt. I have the same qualities that a 40-something year old man has.
D called me back while I sat outside eating my frozen yogurt.
D: “Where are you?”
Me: “Pink Berry.”
D: “What? Laughs”
Me: “What? Why are you laughing?”
D: “You’re such a fatty. You went to Pink Berry alone!”
Me: “I wanted Pink Berry! And you weren’t free!”
It was a habit to me. Doing what I wanted, without regard to other people, and being able to do it alone. Even if it is as small as getting a cup of frozen yogurt, I remembered before I left for Japan when I couldn’t even do that.
I have a blog entry from November 6th, 2009 when I made a goal to overcome this:
“I want to be able to be ok with being alone. I don’t want to feel lonely anymore. I want to be able to have the confidence where I can go home by myself and there’s no one around and I can still feel comfortable in my own skin. That I don’t need everyone around me to be happy, that I am already happy by myself with who I am and how I lead my life.”
I have a journal entry from my last birthday in Japan, December 6th, 2012 when I partially accomplished this:
“Happy birthday to me! Yay. I think I’m ok with being alone and doing things on my own now. I went to Nagoya by myself and went shopping, which I’ve always done, but then I went out to a concert by myself too. It was liberating in a way. I didn’t have to depend on what my friends wanted to do what I wanted to do… I wanted to talk with other people, but was too shy to do it.
I want to do at least one thing everyday that I’ve been wanting to do. not necessarily from my bucket list, but just something that I just have been thinking about doing or something to that effect.”
If meeting Bob and talking to D on the phone at that particular instant, led me to realized that I accomplished a goal that I set out to achieve about 4 years ago, then I need to start being as specific as I was 4 years ago in what I want and how I want it.
Note/Question to self:
So what do you want Nancy? And how do you want it?
Nancy Yeang 